Out of the Fishbowl: Finding Confidence and Community in Ministry

Written by Sarah Paulk for HOPE Network Ministries

Growing up, Andrea Turner thought she knew what the life of a pastor’s wife would look like. “It meant dressing appropriately and serving in the nursery,” she remembers. Now, after 22 years of ministry alongside her husband, Bob, at the White Station Church of Christ in Memphis, Tennessee, her reality is much more about teaching in the classroom at work and at church, volunteering with their foster care ministry, and helping the local homeless community.

Life in the Fishbowl

It’s a life of service that Andrea loves and feels called to, but it is also demanding. Sundays are an additional workday on top of her full-time teaching job, and cultivating deep friendships as the pastor’s wife has not been easy.

“One of the biggest challenges has been relationships,” Andrea says. “My closest friends suddenly didn’t feel like they could talk to me as much as a pastor’s wife — like I was going to judge them. I lost my confidence and felt like I was alone, in a fishbowl, wondering, ‘Who do I talk to?’”

A Renewed Confidence in Her Calling

Receiving an invitation to join a Lavish HOPE cohort came as a relief to Andrea, even if she wasn’t entirely sure what it meant. “I remember getting into the elevator the first day with a stranger who is now one of my sisters, and we were both just like, ‘What did we come to?’” Andrea says. “The first weekend is about getting to know each other. By the second retreat we were all friends, and by the third we were family. The relationships formed there are pure gold to me. They are such a gift.”

The small touches, like a personalized welcome basket and a hotel room all to herself, helped Andrea relax, but it was the prayer time, spiritual exercises, and Enneagram workshops that gave her a new lens for viewing herself and her calling.

“Lavish HOPE renewed my sense of joy and confidence in the calling God has placed on my life.”

— Andrea Turner

Out of the Fishbowl

“Ministry life can be such a joy, but it also comes with unique challenges, and it can be lonely and overwhelming at times,” she says. “Lavish HOPE renewed my sense of joy and confidence in the calling God has placed on my life. It helped me understand my purpose in ministry and gave me friends who remind me I am not alone in walking this journey. I know I can call them if I’m going through something, and I don’t feel like I’m in the fishbowl anymore. I have the support I need.”