by Sarah Paulk
Tara Biesboer – Lavish HOPE Participant
Tara Biesboer and her husband Mic have served in a variety of contexts – campus ministry, youth ministry – but it wasn’t until he took on a preaching role that Tara began to feel like there were more eyes on her. “Comments were made about my attire at church,” she says. “I hadn’t worn anything inappropriate, but it made me realize, okay, I’m definitely being judged.”
Finding a healthy balance between allowing Mic to leave work at the office and sharing the struggles they were dealing with at church became challenging as the burden of expectations grew. Looking back, she realizes some of those expectations were placed on their children as well. “Church hurt doesn’t just affect your husband, it affects your whole family,” she says. “My kids are in it just as much as I am. They see everything.”
Serving the Beautiful, Imperfect Church
When she arrived at her first Lavish Hope event in 2018, Tara was moved to hear her own experiences reflected in the stories of the other women in her cohort. Their stories weren’t sugarcoated, and the vulnerability that the leaders opened with let her know that it was a safe environment for her to be authentic as well. “There was something about being in a room with other women and realizing I wasn’t the only one who was feeling this way that let me know I could trust it as a safe space,” she says. “We’d all been wounded by the church in different ways, but we also love the church. Hearing how those women reconciled that and were still able to serve was a pivotal moment for me.”
Tara has stayed connected with her Lavish Hope cohort, and when Mic stepped away from ministry for a period of time before taking his current preaching role at the Central Church of Christ in Amarillo, Texas, her group was a source of support. Through their friendship, she has learned to give both herself and her church family grace.
“I was pretty tough on the church and held it to a standard that wasn’t fair at times,” Tara says. “Lavish Hope helped me work through that mindset so that when we came back into ministry, I could see it as beautiful with all of its imperfections. It helped take my ministry to a different level.”