by Steven Carrizal
The pastoral role of church leaders is a calling that puts us on holy ground as we are invited into a space of vulnerability. It is also a role for which it is easy to continually feel ill-equipped no matter how much training or experience a leader has in such situations. From casual Sunday conversations about how one’s week is going to deeper interactions in times of crisis, as church leaders we can find ourselves in quite a variety of circumstances that seem to require anything from basic conversation skills to advanced degrees in counseling. However, in my time in ministry there is one skill that is always needed and can be relied on as the foundation of a good interaction, yet always needs honing: listening.
While almost no one wants to go through another workshop on active listening, a thoughtful evaluation of our previous five conversations will very likely show that despite what we believe we know about listening, we still struggle to make it a natural practice. Listening, maybe more than many other skill, requires constant attention and commitment. Here are two practices that will set up successful listening:
- Be present: be mindful of your surroundings and minimize distractions.
- Pay attention: be curious, ask questions, seek clarity, and avoid giving advice.
And when you have the opportunity, go ahead, sign up for another workshop on listening. You may not learn anything you don’t know, but you will put in important habit-forming practice.
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