Restoring Trust in a Divided Culture: Practical Ways to Rebuild Relational Credibility Inside and Outside the Church

by Kaley Ihfe

 

At this moment, trust between people feels fragile and sometimes impossible. We have information coming at us constantly that is meant to evoke outrage or fear – no matter what side of the political aisle we are on.  It doesn’t take much for disagreement to turn into suspicion or for differences to create distance.

A recent Pew Research Center study confirms this reality: more Americans view the morality and ethics of their fellow citizens negatively than positively. As the church, what better time could there be to embrace and live out the teachings of Jesus, as challenging as they are, as he calls us to a way of life that runs counter to the culture around us? 

Jesus tells us that the most important commandment is to love the Lord and the second is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-40). He also reminds us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44) and also to love people who don’t love us (Matthew 5:46, 47). But how do we do this when we feel so deeply that we are right and others are wrong?

Here are some practical, foundational ways we can begin to restore relational credibility—starting with our own hearts and minds:

1. Pray.  Pray for those whom you are concerned for, as well as for people who believe differently than you do. 
2. Read Scripture with curiosity. In light of the whole story, what is God teaching you about how to live at this moment in time?
3. Be intentional with your time. Spend more combined time in prayer, Scripture, community and serving than you do on social media or watching the news.
4. Increase your understanding of other’s perspectives by being hyper aware that the information we get is based on algorithms coming from different sources and points of view.  
5. Honor faithful differences. Recognize that there are Christians who sincerely love and follow God and come to different political conclusions—or who choose not to engage politically at all.
6. Practice proximity and friendship.  Spend time with, listen to, and build genuine friendships with people who vote or think differently than you do. We are all more than our political affiliations.
7. Step outside your comfort zone. Go into the community and serve – notice the good being done by people with different partisan beliefs from you.
8. Choose action over accusation. Let your convictions lead to tangible acts of love and service rather than condemnation of others.

The reality is that we all carry strong convictions. We often struggle to comprehend why others don’t see things the way we do, and we begin to view “the other side” with suspicion or even disdain.  We cling to feelings of self-righteousness rather than trying to listen and understand. It is no surprise that this does not help restore trust or build relational credibility.

Henri Nouwen wrote, “We spend an enormous amount of energy making up our minds about people…the feeling that we have to sort it all out in our minds and make judgements about it can be quite oppressive….once we can let go of our need to judge others, we will experience an immense inner freedom.”  

What if we choose that freedom?  What if, instead of using our energy to evaluate and categorize others, we use it to love, to listen, and to serve?

In Galatians 5:6, Paul is addressing a different kind of division and writes, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” This truth is compelling in our moment.  In a culture marked by condemnation, choosing love is a powerful act of witness. And it may be one of the most important ways we can begin to rebuild trust, one relationship at a time.

 

About the Author

Kaley Ihfe serves as the Director of Lavish HOPE, a ministry which provides spiritual, emotional and physical care for wives of ministers. She has a B.S. in Communications, an MEd in School Counseling, and an MA in Christian Ministry. She has worked as the Leadership Development Manager at the Volunteer Center of Lubbock, as a teacher and school counselor at Pflugerville ISD, and as Campus Activities Director at Abilene Christian University. She has served  alongside her husband, Karl Ihfe, in ministry for 23 years first in Austin and currently in Lubbock. She teaches adult Bible classes, writes Bible study curriculum, and speaks at retreats. She and Karl have a son at the University of North Texas and a daughter who is a senior in high school.