by Kerri Smilie
It hit me at Panera.
I was having lunch with one of our small group leaders, checking in on how things were going with the women in her group.
“I love leading my group, and now that I’m a bit older than the girls, I feel even more confident. I mean, I’m 27 now!”
Twenty-seven. Ten years younger than I was at the time.
Oh, sweet Millennial…you’re not the baby anymore.
Our church was founded as a church plant for college students and young adults in 2005. Over the years, our church family has grown up, but we still attract many people in that stage of life. After 2020, we realized the young adults in our church were navigating a very different world than we did in our twenties. If we wanted to serve them well, we needed to stop assuming our way was the only way and start listening to the messages they were communicating loud and clear.
“I need friends.”
We responded by prioritizing connection. Church events moved beyond our building and into the community: baseball games, dog park meetups, concerts, and game nights. These low-pressure environments gave people opportunities to build friendships naturally. The result? Our young adults started spending time together without staff organizing every interaction. When we hear of people hanging out without us—we rejoice that what we planted has now taken root.
“I need an experience I can’t get anywhere else.”
Gen Z values authenticity. In one study, 92% said being authentic and true to themselves was extremely or very important.[2]
Our young adults weren’t asking us to compete with concerts, podcasts, or social media. They wanted something real. They wanted a place where they felt like they could truly belong.
So, we made some changes. We moved the communion table to the center of the room and arranged seating around it. We incorporated liturgy such as the Lord’s Prayer and a weekly benediction. We removed stage lighting and visual distractions in favor of a calmer, more reflective environment.
We also shortened our sermons and created space for discussion and hands-on participation. Sunday gatherings became places where people could practice what they were learning rather than simply consume information. Two years later, we’ve seen young adults not only stay but bring their friends. Many tell us they’ve never experienced church this way before.
“I need older adults to walk with me.”
Gen Z doesn’t just need peer friendships; they need mentoring friendships too.
Gen X-ers and Millennials have reached the stage where we’re the adults in the room. Our young adults need people who will listen, encourage, and simply spend time with them.
For us, that has meant saying yes to disc golf, 5Ks, coffee meetups, clothing swaps, kayaking, and more. If they want to spend time with us, we are going to show up. We believe ministry happens in ordinary moments as much as it does in organized programs. When young adults know we are invested in their growth and well-being, it opens the door for deeper trust and discipleship.
Listening to Gen Z has taught us that relationships, authenticity, and intergenerational connection matter more than we knew. The next generation isn’t looking for a perfect church. They’re looking for a place that feels like home, and people willing to walk alongside them when they get there.
[1] The Cigna Group. (2025). Loneliness in America 2025: A pervasive struggle requires a communal response. https://filecache.mediaroom.com/mr5mr_thecignagroup/183661/2025-loneliness-in-america-report-the-cigna-group.pdf
[2] Ernst & Young LLP. (2021). Is Gen Z the spark we need to see the light? 2021 Gen Z segmentation study. EY. https://assets.ey.com/content/dam/ey-sites/ey-com/en_us/topics/consulting/ey-is-gen-z-the-spark-we-need-to-see-the-light-full-report.pdf
About the Author
Kerri Smilie is an Associate Pastor at One Life Church in Concord, North Carolina. She holds a B.S. in Biblical and Theological Studies (Mid-Atlantic Christian University) and a Master of Divinity (Abilene Christian University). Kerri is passionate about helping people grow in their relationship with Jesus through teaching, small groups, and practical spiritual formation. She lives with her husband, Paul, and their three sons.
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