Archive for Conflict

The Best Time to Plant a Tree

by Amanda Box The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the next best time is today. Many of us grew up in a church environment where people weren’t allowed to disagree, question the status quo, or offer a different perspective. When people have structures, language, and strategy to handle each other […]

Facilitating Mediation: Understanding The Peacemaking Possibility

by Jon Mullican Most people work hard to avoid conflictual situations. Conflict creates discomfort. Conflict means to most that someone wins, and someone loses; to avoid losing or losing relationships, we sidestep the issue, the conversation, and the confrontation. Churchgoers follow this pattern well. Who wants to fight at church? Who wants to get into […]

How Old Are You – 12?

by Amanda Box Research shows that during conflict, people revert to their behavior from about age 12—sad, but true. Since I happen to have a 12-year-old daughter, I have an up-close-and-personal daily view of what this looks like. It’s not pretty. It’s all about the win/lose, deserve/earn with her. I most definitely have my work […]

Healing After Conflict

by Shane J. Mushonga Conflict is like an unwelcome friend on life’s journey arriving uninvited; and it lingers if left unaddressed. How do we rid ourselves of this unwanted companion? Consider these three steps to choose healing as a better travel companion: 1. Be Intentional in the Process While conflict is common, healing requires an […]

Leadership as Immune System

by Jon Mullican Peter Steinke has equated leadership to the body’s immune system.  According to Steinke, leadership establishes the boundaries of what is of self – what belongs in the body – and what is foreign – what is not of the body.  Leadership is responsible to identify behavior that is allowed and behavior that […]

Fired! Terminated! Let go! (We’re going a different direction…”)

by Grady King– Say it anyway you want, termination is always difficult, no matter which side of the desk you are on. When it comes to the termination of a minister, the ramifications are legion for him, his family, the leadership and the church. In recent weeks I have listened to the gut wrenching stories […]

Difficult Conversations

by Amanda Box –  This semester I’m team-teaching a Sunday morning class called Difficult Conversations. The goal with this class is to teach and practice basic conflict management skills to help negotiate differences and controversial topics. Being able to have productive conversations with believers and nonbelievers about critical subjects that connect with our deepest beliefs and […]

On Practicing Civility

by Grady King – Civility is in short supply: no aspect of life is unscathed from a lack of civility—social, political, economic, family, and certainly religious. Civil conversations are a rarity. Fear and anger is the air we breathe. The media and social media exacerbate the milieu of hostility.  When we do not strive for […]

Being Nice at What Price?

by Grady King –    We have all experienced it.  One person gets their way over the majority—a “few” people, predictably, control decisions. Group decision making is multi-faceted involving long-term relationships, history, precedent, threat and fear. When final decisions come down to one person’s influence, opinion or dominance repeatedly, frustration and fear tactics abound. The […]

The Post-Conflict Show

By Amanda Box – It was Saturday, with Sunday fast approaching. Due to travel and family emergencies, I was the last minister standing. Having several things to accomplish, while getting dressed, I texted my husband, Chuck, who was in the kitchen. “Can you take Hazel for ice cream or something so I can finish running […]

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